Dating for Grownups

Date the Person, Not the Potential

todayOctober 14, 2026

Background

Are you dating the person—or their potential?
We’ve all done it.
“They’d be perfect if they just communicated better.”
“They’ll want commitment eventually.”
“They’ll become more romantic.”
“They’ll change.”
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
You shouldn’t choose someone based on who you hope they’ll become.
People can grow. They can change. They can work on themselves—but they have to want that change.
Before getting serious, ask yourself:
“If this person never changed, would I still choose them?”
If the answer is no, you may be in love with their potential rather than the person standing in front of you.

Written by: Karlien Kruger


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